The past weeks in Misahualli have been quite the learning experience.
Progress on the raft came almost to a standstill. The biggest problem was finding reliable information and workers. Everyone in the town has different ideas about how to build a raft, and it’s hard to tell who’s not talking shit.
I don’t speak Spanish very well, so it could just be one big miscommunication, but I have the feeling some of the locals are fucking with me... Ya know? I don’t know so much about rafts and river navigation, but they can’t all be telling the truth, right? And once the money got involved, all the information seemed to favour them earning the most amount of deniros for the least amount of work.
In time, I got this vibe from Jumbo the boat builder. He assured me a safe and durable raft when we made the deal, but when it came around to construction, I could see it was being underbuilt. I guess $250 only buys the basic model balsa, but the little balsita they were building me, even I could tell, wasn’t going the distance. I realised that I should have been paying them by the day, but was not able to negotiate a daily rate, so I told Jumbo and his crew that their services were no longer required. *drop in the dubstep*
I mean, they're not bad people, they're just opportunists. Working with tourists is a good way to make quick money… and if you don’t really know what's going on, they might take the opportunity to short hand the deal. I’m sure if I could actually speak Spanish and communicate clearly with these guys, I could have avoided the dramas.
Anyway, after that, I was working the project alone. Fuck…there was a lot going on… building the raft, sieving through the bullshit in town, trying to calculate all the logistics, coordinating with potential crew overseas… It all got a bit too serious and the game stopped being fun. I had storm clouds over my head for a few days, then had to pull myself up…
The whole reason I can get away with this sorta shit is because I don’t give a fuuuuuuck!! haha XD. I was getting way too attached to this idea and it started to own me… One measure of freedom is the ability to walk away from anything at any time… Once you become so attached to something that you can’t let it go, then you’re a had man — held back by the very things that were meant to set you free.
And so the lesson this week has been one I’ve leant many times — and yet somehow still manage to forget: Chill the fuck out, put a smile on ya face, stop being so serious and just enjoy the show…. It doesn’t matter how long this project takes, where it ends up or if it doesn’t happen at all — the point of this game is to be alive and have fun.
Today, when I went to the river, I was like ‘fuck it! I’m gunna have fun or I’m going home.’ I put all that shit behind me, picked up my tools and worked on the raft with a smile. When it got hot, I went for a swim, then I climbed a couple trees, talked to the jungle spirits and just remembered the things that make me happy: The nature of the universe, the experience of life, being in the moment and the freedom to let go...
“Love everything, kill anything”
- African Sunrise.
(Authors note: Just want to clarify this quote. 'Kill anything' doesn't not mean to end a physical life, but to overcome conflict at the level of the mind.)
(African Sunrise's note: Yeah, I find it hard to explain the meaning of that one... I had been on acid for a week when I thought of it)